October 9, 2008 at 9:43 am (Uncategorized)
Do you hear Him? He’s speaking… softly, sweetly … He’s whispering. He’s wooing you. He longs for your heart. He wants the hearts that are in dispair, the broken ones, the hurting ones. He wants the hearts that have been torn apart and stepped on. He whispers “Let me fix this”. He has nothing but love for his people. He is patient. His grace is sufficient. His love is overwhelming, never fading, never failing. He sees through eyes of mercy. You are the apple of his eye.
He has written his Love Letter to you. Have you seen it? I want to write a love letter back to Him. I am empty and lost and consumed with this world without Him. I want to be consumed with Him. When I close my eyes I can see myself sitting on a porch swing that we had in the back of our house when I was growing up. And I imaging Jesus sitting next to me and the two of us talking. I can hear in his voice and tell by his actions that he cares about me. He wants to know how my day was. He wants to hear what is on my heart. He wants to know how I’m feeling.
But I believe there is a flip side. God wants to tell us what’s on his heart too. He is searching for those that are willing to take a stand. He wants to share with us what pains Him. There is a song “Hosana” by Hillsong and in it says “Break my heart for what breaks yours” and God will do that for those who are willing to sit still long enough to let him. Why? Because when we know what is breaking the heart of God we can pray to make a difference. We can act upon the injustice.
What is God saying to you today?
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September 14, 2008 at 8:07 pm (Uncategorized)
I will write again sometime soon. Things have been super crazy lately – new job, fight for life, new baby, new kindergartener (with homework??) — in the mean time, pray for LIFE! Pray for IM 11 to pass in SD this November.
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July 29, 2008 at 8:23 am (Uncategorized)
So here’s the deal… I have a new job, but in the negotiations, I requested that I not start until August 19th so that I have time to stay home with the kids. This is an opportunity I probably won’t get again, so I thought I should take advantage of it while I can. This will give me a few weeks to hang out with Zander before he starts kindergarten (Which is only 3 short weeks away) and some time to be with my little Zoe at such a tender time in her life. But oh my word, what a challenge! I don’t know if it’s easier or more difficult to have them closer in age, but a 5 year old and a 4 month old is more than I bargained for some days!
So, not sure how much blogging I will get done… as even now I can’t finish this one… Zoe’s crying which is my cue to sign off.
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July 21, 2008 at 2:27 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: Abiding with Christ, Audra Lynn, Christianity, Jesus, music, Tarry
So last night we had the TV off and the iPod on (those are my favorite times, cause then we are hanging with each other and enjoying each other instead of focusing on the TV) — and while my husband and I were making dinner together the song Narrow Way by Audra Lynn comes on and the lyrics say
There is a way – a gate that is narrow
There is a road – very few have gone
There is a path – the way I have taken
Here is the call – come away with me
Take up your cross – and follow
Lay down your burdens – and tarry with me for a while
My husband asked what tarry is and I thought I knew so I spewed out an answer, but today thought I should double check and althought I was close, I was not quite right. I found that tarry is defined by Webster as this: to abide or stay in one place
AWESOME! I love the song even more than what I did ten minutes ago. I will be faithful! I will tarry with you, Jesus. I will take up my cross. Kristen Hickey has some awesome posts on abiding if you’re looking for more. I can’t come close to her level of teaching, so I will just give you the links.
Abiding #1
Abiding #2
Abiding #3
Abiding #4
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July 18, 2008 at 3:55 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: blessing, Christ, favor, greed, job offer, New job, Relationship with Christ
If you’ve been following my blog at all you know that I have been searching for another job and during the job search there has also been a lot of searching for God’s will and His word. Well, today I accepted an offer for a position that I have been wanting and God is blessing us greatly from the financial part of the job to all of the “extras” that come with it.
Last night I was at a prayer meeting and I cried out to God, “Thank You. (I already knew the offer would be sent today) But it’s still not enough. I want more of YOU God! More of YOU! More of your love.” I am not trying to be greedy or materialistic with things of this world, but I am being greedy in my relationship with Christ. I can not get enough. A job is a job and money is money – those things are nothing if I don’t have a deep, intimate relationship with my Savior.
So, while I praise Him for the blessings he pours out on us I still say “MORE of YOU, God!”
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July 11, 2008 at 11:56 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: God, Jesus, Kingdom of God, Valley
I have heard before that it is in the valley that we grow. Someone spoke that to me to try and offer comfort during a difficult time in my life. Honestly, when they said it I blew it off. I was so deep in my valley that I didn’t want a word of encouragement, I wanted a way out. God has allowed me to walk through many valleys, I’m sure many can relate. And I have been spending some time reflecting back on what I have learned. How have I grown?
Yesterday I realized that as I ask God to use me to further his kingdom here on earth, he doesn’t do it in the way that I had thought he would. (Big surprise) I have thought for a while now that I don’t have a great way to be part of God’s movement on this earth. I see some of the “greats” and see how they are ministering to millions and think I have nothing to offer that is of that magnitude. So I have continued to cry out to God asking him to use me. “God, make me your instrument” but the whole time I have been thinking he didn’t like the flute – he must only like the drums since they’re the ones that seem to have the most impact.
When I look back I realize that every time I have cried out to God to use me I am given another valley experience. What a way to answer someone who just wants to help. HA! It is a great answer and I didn’t even know it until it slapped me in the face. With every valley experience comes a new testimony. And the Bible tells us that there is power in our testimony.
It is in the power of every testimony that He has given me that I have the ability to further the kingdom. He will use these testimonies to touch people’s lives and to draw them to him. He will receive every drop of glory and honor and praise for the magnificent works that have occurred in my life. Praise Jesus! Thank you for removing the scales from my eyes and thank you for the valley experiences, as difficult as they are!
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July 10, 2008 at 9:08 am (Uncategorized)
Tags: Audra Lynn, Christianity, Faith, God, Jesus, Peace, Praise
Since 2005 the Spring / Summer time each year has been difficult for me and my family. You see, in the Spring of 2005 I lost my job. A job I really loved. And even though I have a fairly good skill set, I wasn’t successful in finding another job right away. I cried out to God for understanding and He remained quiet. In July of 2005 my parent’s home completely burned down. My mom wasn’t able to keep up with all she needed to do for the insurance company, so I was able to easily step in and take phone calls for her and field questions on their behalf. God opened my vision to see the “why” behind why I hadn’t received another job right away. I was being a blessing to my mother.
In 2006 the summer came especially hard when we received the mind blowing news that mom (also known to me as dear, close friend) had breast cancer. Again, God, why? I may have to wait until I meet Christ before I receive that level of understanding.
2007 the unimaginable happened. I was six weeks pregnant and we lost the baby, but that wasn’t the worst. Ten days later mom walked through the veil and is now spending eternity with Christ.
This year has actually come with a lot of joy. In March God gave us the gift of LIFE. Our baby Zoe was born, which is a whole testimony of miracles in itself. But 4 weeks after I returned to work I found out that I my position has been eliminated and I am now in the search for another job.
This blog isn’t about a pity party though… the reason I am laying all of this out there is that in spite of everything that has happened I vow to remain faithful. I will seek His face and sit at His feet. A song that I have been stuck on is by Audra Lynn Yet I Will Sing and she says “Though my song be taken from me, yet will I sing, yet will I praise you.” Later she says, “Whatever you do, you do through the eyes of mercy.” Another place to turn to is Job when he says, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” Job 13:15
God is a God of mercy. His grace and love is never ending. He is sovereign and I know that His plan has always been and will always be far better than any plan I can come up with. I will continue to rest in His perfect ways and know that he is preparing me to bring Him glory in greater measure.
Whatever you are dealing with today… find peace in knowing that God’s timing is perfect and his love for you is never ending.
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July 8, 2008 at 4:47 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: Christianity, Earthly Treasures, God, Jason Upton, Jesus, Kingdom of God
“Where will we turn when our world falls apart and all of the treasures that we’ve stored in our barns can’t buy the kingdom of God.” – Jason Upton 1200 Feet Below Sea Level
This is a statement that Jason Upton ministers to his listeners at the start of song number three on his new CD 1200 Feet Below Sea Level and I am captured by it ever since I heard it nearly two months ago. Much too much time is spent chasing the earthly treasures. Go ahead, scream “Guilty!” at me, as I know I am one of many that has allowed myself to be inticed with the things of this world that will soon come to pass. Moths and rust, right?
To think of the time we spend storing up these treasures and for what good? They can’t buy the kingdom of God. ARGH! The madness… time wasted… God, change my desire to only be for things that will further your kingdom here on earth!
PS – If you haven’t picked up Jason Upton’s newest CD, you better get on the stick. You may find that you’re missing out. 
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July 8, 2008 at 4:33 pm (Uncategorized)
Tags: Christianity, Jesus, New Blogger
Ok, so I have been resisting doing my own blog for some time now. I would explain why, but would prefer to spare everyone the mindless details. So you may be asking, why start now after all the resistance? I would like to say it’s because I finally came up with something profound to share with the world but that would be a lie… and well, last I checked lying wasn’t a good idea. So the truth is, I have no idea why now… when I figure it out, I will let you know.
You also may ask about the name Forever Longing – what’s that all about. The answer is two fold. 1) God is still teaching me to tap into my creative side. Since it hasn’t happened in it’s fullness yet, I went with one of the first things that came to mind. 2) I have recently had my eyes opened to the fact that I am never satisfied. I don’t mean unhappy; I mean I am continually longing for more of God. I am forever longing for more revelation. I am forever longing to have my heart transformed to be more like the heart of Christ. I am forever longing to be more and do more in the kingdom movement. I am forever longing to be one with Christ. Every time I hit a new level, I realize there is still more to come. Thank you, Jesus!
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